Usuario:Taln Fan/Funny Quotes
This is mostly for personal reference. Many of these don’t have ref’s yet so whoopsie. :)
Hoid Quotes
“I’d rather not die today, as I still have seven more people I want to insult. ”
—Hoid
“How remarkable, if you spend your life knocking people down, you eventually find they won’t stand up for you. There’s poetry in that, don’t you think, you storming personification of a cancerous anal discharge? ”
—Hoid to Ruthar
“I ate a frog once. It had more legs than the average frog, and was violet. It wriggled as it went down. ”
—Hoid to his Seon
“Nonsense. Balderdash. Figgldygrak. Isn't it odd that gibberish words are often the sounds of other words, cut up and dismembered, then stitched into something like them—yet wholly unlike them at the same time? I wonder if you could do that to a man. Pull him apart, emotion by emotion, bit by bit, chunk by chunk. Then combine them back together into something else, like a Dysian Aimian. If you do put a man together like that, Dalinar, be sure to name him Gibberish, after me. Or perhaps Gibletish. ”
—Hoid to Dalinar
“Can you feel it? Something has changed. That’s the sound the world makes when it pisses itself. ”
—Hoid
“You look so ugly that it appears someone tried and failed to get the warts off your face through aggressive application of sandpaper! You are less a human being than a lump of dung with aspirations! If someone took a stick and beat you repeatedly, it would only serve to improve your features. Your face defies description, but only because it nauseated all the poets. I’d tell you to put a sack over your head, but think of the poor sack! Theologians use you as proof that God exists, as such hideousness can only be intentional! ”
—Hoid[1]
“You see, Sadeas, you make it too easy. An uneducated, half-brained serving boy with a hangover could make mock of you. I am left with no need to exert myself, and your very nature makes mockery of my mockery. And so it is that through sheer stupidity you make me look incompetent. ”
—Hoid to Sadeas